Hadlish Holiday Happenings

First let me start off with a quote...

M Singing: "Noel, noel, born is the king of E-eng-ga-land" There was one other version, but I was too slow in writing it down and have forgotten it. It had me busting up laughing though.

Ok, now for some photographic evidence.

First, my new furniture. Merry Christmas to me... Sorry for the blurryness - it's a photo from C's phone. Of course I have myself a conniption if anyone tries to bring food or drinks or even stinky socks anywhere near my new grown-up furniture.



Next up: The choir of angels in the Christmas play at church. M could be heard over all of the other kids.



Jump to Christmas morning: the kiddos and their U.B. Funkeys, C playing with A's RC helicopter, the carnage of Christmas morning and the kiddos playing with their gifts.









And finally, my little girl is growing up. We purposely put holes in my daughter's body...

Whee! Wee! Wii!

Yes, we are now the proud family owners of a NoFriendo Whee!

Ok, that was mean, but it's a family thing... the better you are the less of a life you have... or so the theory went growing up. I'm actually surprised that I wasn't the first to get a Nofriendo though... go figure

But let me tell you... it's FUN...Phun...GHUN!! (ya know... "gh" as in "tough" - get it? oh well).

We had a great time tonight playing a 4-player Mario Party. A won even though C won most of the minigames.

So I'll beg your pardon if (ok when) my brain goes to mush over this vacation time. Just don't go and make any jokes about us sitting at home playing with our wee... erm... Wii

The season of giving

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a giver. Yeah, I like to be on the receiving end, but in all reality it's the giving that makes me happy.

M and I had our second "girl day" yesterday. We were suppose to do some clothes shopping for the two of us. We ended up only shopping for her. Tried to shop for myself, but it really didn't work. I think I have a problem spending money on myself. Well, at least when I'm alone or with my girly-girl. I seem to be able to spend for myself just fine when C is with me. I think that's the only way I'm able to buy clothes for myself anymore.

I really enjoy giving to those who need a gift. It makes me feel good knowing that I can help someone out. Or give them a renewed faith in humanity. Or just make someone else feel good, appreciated, loved, etc.

Ok, so it's been awhile...

I had the unfortunate happenstance of my computer dying. I woke up one morning, like I normally do, walked to the livingroom, pressed the power button on my computer, and stared. I pressed the button again and stared again. Wasn't something suppose to be happening? I pressed again, just to make sure. Still nothing.

AHA!! The power strip has been turned off or unplugged. Dagnabit, nope.

Hmmmm, maybe the power is off in the house? Nope, not that either.

Maybe I pressed the button wrong, I should try again.

*Sigh*

Everytime I sat in that chair for the next few days I would try to use my computer out of habit. Heck, I'm only here now because I have to get up early and use C's. Naw, that's not true, he offers. I'm just being silly.

Anyway, might be back soon, new power supply is suppose to be coming today. Yay!

Put the tree up today

Sitting over in the corner and doesn't really look as pathetic as it has in years past. Granted it's just a skinny little fake-o tree, but the kids really enjoy it. We let them hang 3 ornaments a piece tonight and we'll do another 3 tomorrow and so on. Not sure why, but it's making it as something special to do each night to look forward to.

Tonight they were sitting under the tree with their little green Gideon bibles listening to Christmas music on the radio. I think we actually may have a couple of kids who really "get" what the season is all about this year.

Now all we need is some snow, a fireplace, some hot cocoa and a big warm blanket to snuggle under.

From bad to bizarre

We've all had bad dreams. I'm pretty sure we've all had some weird ones as well. Lately mine have crossed the line to the truly bizarre.

Have you ever dreamed you were married to Michael Symon?


Ok, maybe that's not so weird. I mean he's an Iron Chef and has a great laugh. And I'm sure his family wouldn't think that concept is weird.

But what about dreaming of yourself as a superhero, fighting a 40-foot tall, water-breathing cyclops titan who apparently can only be defeated with a classic nintendo controller. Oh yeah, and you're wearing footie-jams where the feet are too big.

Where did that one come from? Seriously, anyone have a clue?

Thanksgiving

A day to be thankful for what we have. Today I am thankful for the following:

C: Yeah, sometimes we get on each other's nerves, stress each other out, annoy one another to the point of pure irritation. But 10-30 minutes later we're back to laughing, loving and enjoying one another. He gets me most of the time, understands where I'm coming from. He knows me better than anyone else and I don't think I'd have it any other way.

M: I can't believe that I was seen fit enough to have the miracle of this girl in my life, let alone the honor of being her mother. Yes, I freely admit that the first 4 years of her life were HARD, but to see how far she's come and to see the person she's grown into I can't help but feel blessed. I don't think I've met another child that cares for everyone the way she does. She's generous, compassionate, loving.

A: Now this guy is a kick in the pants. Boy howdy! I'm so thankful that he can see the funny side of things. He's light-hearted, relaxed, a great snuggler. He keeps my toes warm by sitting on my feet, he still gets scared of things but will put up his "brave boy" facade and charge through. He laughs from the bottom of his belly and brings smiles to my face daily.

My family: Through thick and thin they're still my family and I'm still thankful for each of them. This includes Dad, S, N, their families, C's family - T, S, L & S and their families. I'm thankful for each of these people in my life and the ways they have shaped me to be who I am today.

My job: Yes, I said my job. I am thankful for it. Without it I wouldn't be sitting here today. I love the work I do, just not always the people I have to do it with. I've learned a lot about "the real world" at this job more than any other. And for that I am thankful.

My friend K: My lunch buddy. She has given me a different perspective on life to contemplate. While we're a lot alike, we're also quite different. She's a sounding board when life gets frustrating and I hope that I don't gripe too often. We laugh about our families, our jobs, TV shows. She's so caring and supportive and I'm glad I can call her my friend.

My net friends: I've known some of these ladies longer than I've known my kids. They've been a great support in the tough times knowing I'm not alone in the struggles of day to day living. I hope I can have many more years of their friendship and wisdom. I'm thankful for their perspectives, their parenting wisdom, their world views and for hopefully learning from them to become a better person, parent and friend.

And lastly, my gamer friends: Q, Tae, Ank, Zuk, Gonz and the many others over the years... thanks for letting this girl take part in the fun and feel like one of the gang. Some of these guys are like family, some like family you can't tell anyone about (ahem tae). I'm glad I've gotten to know them and have them be part of our lives.

May this day bring good food, warm memories, and a chance to become a better person.

The joys of a clear liquid diet

I won't go into the details of WHY I'm on a clear liquid diet, you really don't need to know that. But let me tell you, there is no joy in Hadville.

Made tacos last night, was contemplating whether or not I could make tacos (or mac and cheese) into a clear liquid. The real sucky thing is that I won't even get leftovers when the solid food ban is lifted.

Thank goodness this isn't happening next week because that would be absolute sacriledge. Can you imagine how absolutely, horribly dreadful a CLD would be on Thanksgiving???

"We're having turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing, homemade rolls, 2 different veggies and 3 different pies. What are you having?"

"Water and broth."

Bad dreams

Lately I've been having some pretty horrific bad dreams. The kind that just leave you screaming and emotionally drained and you wake up with a raw throat and a really awful feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Logically I know it's just my subconscious dealing with the happenings in the last few weeks, but really... every night is getting a bit rough. I'm tired of waking up and freaking out that someone is not ok. Especially when you can't reach that someone by means other than email.

I've just decided that I'll be getting an international plan by years end. Promise.

I'm still shaking and trying to rid myself of this horrible feeling. I hate this, I'm ready to sleep peacefully through the night again.

More family history

Ok, what's gotten ahold on me? I have been simply obsessed with family history and trying to track down anything I can find. C has even laughed that I've gotten my claws into his family... and that's going to be a little tougher to search for.

I just find the stories so interesting and am so enthralled by how they lived and their accomplishments. One ancestor was a bookkeeper and it was said that he set the standards of bookkeeping with books that were correct but without a single eraser mark. Wow. It's just fascinating... too bad I wasn't this interested in history when I was in high school eh?

Remembering Margaret

I've spent much of this past week delving into family history. Mostly due to the passing of grandma and having some time off work. I'm more and more convinced that grandma was an amazing woman (grandmother was too by the way).

She had a master's degree in French. She also had one in Social Work. She held many jobs in high office in the Social Work field in the area of Child Welfare. She and grandpa were part of the 1976 Episcopal General Convention that accepted the Revised Book of Common Prayer. Growing up she would have rather played with her pet hen than her dolls. And she loved the experience of freedom in the spring when she was released from long winter underwear.

I only really knew her from the time of her retirement on, so my picture of her was that of a stay at home wife who baked and sewed and did the housekeeping. I was shocked to see that she worked for many years and even helped her family during the depression when her wages went from $100/wk down to $80.

I believe that she left us in the same way she lived these past few years, not wanting to be a bother or burden on anyone. She was an amazing woman who I wish I could have known more about, talked to more, listened to more and just appreciated what she had to offer a bit more.

We'll miss you grandma

A pleasant afternoon

we took the afternoon off and went to a local storytelling festival. Didn't hear many stories, as they were mostly during the morning, but we did have a few hours of some good music. Kids were well behaved for the most part. We'll have to do this again sometime.

Oh Joyous Day!

jokefulous
immensefully silly
funful

Aren't these some great words? M is wonderful at adding to the hadlish dictionary. Maybe I should publish it someday.

Jump up! Get down! Stand up! Turn around!

Ok, so I'm a bit slow when it comes to our tv. I knew we had some music channels (they only play music, no video) but only last night did I realize we had a kids music channel. C and I listened to it a bit and liked it.

Anyway, this morning when the kiddos woke up I turned on the tube and we had a concert going on. The Imagination Movers gave us a great time this morning. Heck I think I had more fun dancing to the music than the kiddos did. Great stuff.

Hmmm... I wonder if I can work them into my weight loss program?!?

Ok, one more thing for today...

there's a card game afoot at the moment... Go Fish. The kiddos are playing with Squeaky the Hippo. Here's the conversation I just heard.

M: A, ask for a 3.
A: But Squeaky doesn't have a 3.
M: No, ask me.
A: M, do you have a 3?
M: No, go fish.

hahahahahahahahaha what a booger.

mmm mmm mmm...

So I bought some of that new healthy harvest oatmeal. Ran out of milk for the kids' cereal this morning so I made them oatmeal instead. A's response:

"Tastes like candy on a spoon."

Glad to know he likes it.

No more babies

The tooth fairy is going to visit A for the first time tonight. The loss of the first tooth signifies that the baby is now gone. And hopefully the whining will go with it... yeah I know... sigh... it'll be truly gone when he moves out... hehe.

Tomorrow we're celebrating with Hostess Ding Dongs.

Love that kid

"Wish I had x-ray bision...

... and butterfly wings"

ear piercing

holy moly... do you realize that as a young girl you dream of the day your parents let you get your ears pierced. As a parent though, there is no way on God's green earth you're going to let the shaky kid at the mall touch YOUR baby's ears.

Luckily I have a husband who researches EVERYTHING. And surprise, surprise we've found an acceptable solution. Our pediatrician group does ear piercing using needles instead of that big ol' clunky ear gun (that CAN'T be sterilized by the way).

So, M will be getting an early birthday present. Yeah, it costs more to go to the doctor, but really, which would you go to if you had your choice and cost wasn't a factor?

Paper

Did you know that tonight I'll be getting rid of a small tree from my house? Yes, that much paper crap that's come into the house is finally leaving the house. And that's not the whole house, just the rooms that the small ones inhabit.

Why do the teachers these days send kids home with this paper crap EVERY FRICKING DAY? Special art projects I can see keeping, but daily work? Ugh. I'm tired of the paper. Not to mention all the paper we get in the mail that makes its way into the house.

Maybe I'll open my own recycling plant... it would make me feel better that I'm not personally responsible for offing several unknown species of dairy frogs or whatnot.

Update on something I've mentioned in the past

a few months ago I posted a little something about how I wanted to work on my spirituality and my relationship with God. This is an update to that. If you're not interested then now would be the time to leave and most likely the next time I post will be back to the same old same old.

So last week was the start of this year's Sunday school for the kiddos. I took them to church just for that last week because they were really excited about going. This week I braved going to the service as well. And I'm really glad I did.

Have you ever had the experience of sitting in church and suddenly, something that was said hits you and you start crying? Yeah, that was me today. Now I wasn't full out bawling, that happened later in the story.

The homily today was about how we should all make time to go find the one sheep of our 100-strong flock that has strayed. That we should turn the house upside down to find the one coin of 10 that we have lost. This is me. I'm the one that keeps straying, but I also keep finding myself returning. It just really hit close to home and it brought tears to my eyes.

Then, I learned that there was going to be an adult class while the kiddos were in their classes. I sucked it up and went when I would normally find a quiet spot and read a book. The class is on discovery, where you are on your journey, in your relationship with God. Not to mention it's also a series on the Episcopal church. We were asked at the end of class if we would like to share our journeys so far, where we've come from, where we are, and where we'd like to go. I clammed up at this point, my courage failing me, but at the same time this question really made me think of how I'd answer. (Listening to some other answers is where I started bawling)

This is what I've come up with for next week.

I am a cradle Episcopalian, grew up going to church, sunday school, even spending time as an acolyte. About a year after mom passed away my faith started slipping. I didn't feel like I had a connection anymore. To tie into this I've only recently (in the past 10 years) come to terms with my inner perfectionism. If I wasn't perfect, then I wasn't worthy. Missing church made me feel that I was wrong and wouldn't be acceptable anymore.

In high school and college I attempted to return to church and went to several different churches to find my place. For many years I went homeless in this respect, partly because I feared once again that I wouldn't be acceptable. It wasn't until I had children that I returned to the Episcopal church, even then still having my doubts of fitting in and being accepted.

It was "wrong" that my husband didn't come with me. It was "wrong" that I didn't have my children baptised when they were but weeks or months old. It was "wrong" that I couldn't come to church in my sunday best because I didn't have any nice clothes. There were times I felt looked down upon and once again I stopped going to church on Sunday. Though I did secretly hope that someone from the church would call and ask how things were going, how I was doing. That call never came. I must not have been acceptable.

Last fall I once again struck up the courage to return, this time for my kids. I wanted to give them a sense of what the holidays are about, who Jesus is, a foundation on which to build their own faith. We attended for a few weeks, then once again left, but this time it felt a little different. I felt like I hadn't been attending for the right reasons.

Now I'm here again, very thankful for this class and the opportunity to really sit and think about where I am and where I'm going. I've come to realize in the past few months that I can no longer be ruled by perfection. Persistence is the key. Perfection is self abuse (yes I've posted that in my blog before and probably will again), but persistence will help me along the way.

In my mind, God doesn't care that I haven't been to church on a regular basis, He's just happy when I can come and join in fellowship. He doesn't mind that C stays home, C doesn't worship, pray, etc. the same way I do. And God certainly doesn't care in the slightest what I'm wearing when I do attend church. If one gentleman from the congregation I grew up in came to church straight from the fields in his overalls and work boots, then by golly, I can certainly show up in a pair of jeans or shorts and a t-shirt.

I know that I'm not going to find God in the church building. Well, I can and do, but that's not the only place. I can worship Him in the forest, on a mountain top, in a church, in my home, in my car during traffic. Church is for the fellowship of others who will challenge your beliefs, make you question your faith so you learn more about yourself and your relationship with God, and to have a place where you're welcomed no matter what your skin color, age, marital status, or even orientation. It's a place to grow and learn.

So, that's where I've been, that's where I'm at and that's where I'm going. I hope I haven't bored y'all to tears.

When the time comes...

When we get back up north we're going camping. From sometime in spring to right around Labor Day we're planning on camping most weekends. We"d like to find another family (erm, bro?) to go camping with and just kind of hang out on the weekends. Nothing fancy, just a tent or two, a campfire, smores, maybe some fishing. Getting back to nature. Hanging out sans technology. Enjoying family and friends.

Can you tell we're tired of big city life?

40 pounds

1000 rds. of .223
a soft-coated Wheaten Terrier.
a 15-foot canoe
a 3-year old child
8 small bags of flour

I'm down 40 pounds. Wow!

Jaguar and the Beanstalk

So, for Christmas last year the kids received some storybooks on cd. One of them was Jack and the Beanstalk. Today when I got home from work they asked me if I would come watch them play Jack and the Beanstalk. I figured they would do an ad-lib kind of thing.

Upon entering the room I am seated. A then informs me that he's not Jack, but jaguar. M is playing the part of the giant. The cd is started and the play begins. I hadn't realized they were going to do a play, I just thought that they were going to do some silly stuff and call it good.

So, jaguar goes off to sell the cow and gets the magic beans (which are portrayed by small pieces of paper). The beans are thrown out the window (onto the floor) and up (down) springs the beanstalk (a red construction paper curl with a green construction paper snowflake taped to the bottom - taped to the ceiling). A climbs up the ladder to the top bunk and hides in the stove (under the covers) when the giant enters the room.

Well, that's about as far as we got because dinner-time was signaled. Still, makes me proud that they can do something like this. Probably something most kids would do, but as we all know, my kids aren't exactly like most kids.

First day of school a couple days late

(deleted photos on purpose... )

M's first day of 2nd grade, A's first day of Kindergarten

Just call him "Elasto-man"!

So we all know that little girls can wrap their daddies around their little fingers only seconds after they're born.

Today M has reminded us how tightly C is wrapped. He must be wrapped tightly because we're throwing a birthday party for a baby doll today. Yes, we're having cake too.

Wrapped that tightly and still able to buy a cake... now that's flexibility! hehe

Gotta love both of them though... ahhhhhhh. Makes me smile.

Grandma's birthday

Very briefly spoke with Grandma just now. Well, I spoke with the nurse as Grandma's phone wasn't dialing out and she couldn't hear me on the nurse's cell phone. Nurse says grandma is doing ok, not good but ok. Starting to have more bad days than good. I'll email out some more information when I have the time, but I'm at work at the moment and don't have email addresses here.

We've moved to Africa

A as he's goofing off in the store:

"Look mom! I"m a gazelle!"

Seriously, where does he get this stuff?!?

A: Can we play Duck-Duck-Hermit Crab?

Playing in the rain

N said something about drowning over in Wales. Well we thought we were in for the same fate yesterday as we had a huge storm hit that gave us flash-flood conditions (probably, haven't heard what they officially called it) as well as a power-outage. M pretended to take a shower in the rain, A was just a goof, and we let them run back and forth on the front patio for a few runs. The worst part about the storm wasn't that we lost power (think over 100 degrees and humid with no a/c), but that we lost power when the pizza we were going to have for dinner was only 1/2 done. ACK!!! Luckily it was able to slow-cook a bit more and it wasn't too icky. Still a disappointment though.

*sigh*

M: Wow! Grampa W. was right! You do have duck feet!

Where does he get this stuff?

A: mom do I have brain water?

Me: no

A: does my brain float in water?

Me: no, it's in your head

A: so it just sits on the bottom of my head?

____________
A: mom, do I have a blood stream? A blood stream on my tummy?

Me: no, you do have a blood stream all through your body though.

A: All through my body?!?
____________

not to mention his vocabulary is incredible. What 5 year old uses words like improvise? I could be wrong, but wow. Maybe it's because M was non-verbal until almost 5.

Geez dad...

M: Mom, can I have an apple?

Me: I don't mind

M: does that mean I can have an apple?

C: At least she's asking for clarification...

M: No, I'm asking for an apple.

hehehe.

Classroom assignments

We got next year's classroom assignments this weekend. Really don't know either teacher. We were kind of expecting A to get M's K teacher, but he's in a different class. I'm actually not too worried, their classrooms are only a couple doors apart. It's looking like A will be in half-day as well. We really didn't have a preference when we filled out the form, but it's seeming like C really does and is wondering if we can get him into full day. I have no preference really either.

I also need to double check on bussing. I thought A didn't qualify for bussing this year and they both have bus routes on their forms. That's something to look into.

M is so excited and keeps asking to have the booklet that came. Unfortunately we need to tear out a couple of pages and send them back so she can't have it.

Happy Birthday America

and happy anniversary to me & hubbster.

Can you believe that 10 years ago today I was getting ready to get married. Wow.

Nothing special planned for today, though we may do something. Who knows.

Cover your eyes if you don't want to go blind

I love my parents, really I do. But why would they allow me to wear this lovely combination? Yeah, yeah, I know... pick your battles. I just wish there wasn't proof that I *MUST* have won this particular battle... I'm the one on the bottom with the blue tights... *sigh*

More from the junior punkinhead

A: I'm wearing short pants for the morning season mommy!

No clue what this means except he was so very happy about it. Oh yeah, this was said at 7:00 p.m. tonight making it the much odder.

I'd love to get into his mind and just see the way he thinks sometimes.

1 is a beautiful number

Yeah, I know it's suppose to be "lonely," but ya know... I think it's beautiful.

I made my weight goal for this month and this morning I saw a 1 on the scale where a 2 has resided for a long long time.

I'm feeling good, I'm eating great, I'm exercising and loving it, and I'm starting to enjoy my life again. I'm happy. Yeah, life's still tough, but today... today is awesome. Today is a gift. Today is a day that shows me that even though your goals seem like they'll never be completed that they can.

Ok, enough sap... go out and have a healthy meal for me today. Do something for yourself that will make you just feel awesome!

They really are best friends

M & A are currently sitting on the couch together watching looney tunes. It makes me happy that they are so good with one another. Don't get me wrong, they have their times (apparently it's now up as they're griping at one another *sigh*), but generally they're good with each other.

Saturday mornings have been interesting. M has cheerleading waaaaaaaaaay over on the other side of town, maybe 10 miles or so away. Ok, this isn't far, I realize that. But add to it a 1-hour bus ride. And A wanting to come along. And then showing up a half hour early for class and having to then explain to your 5 year old why he CAN'T go mountain climbing on the climbing wall. And then the weird bus ride back because the bus doesn't pick up on the westbound route so you have to climb on the bus take an hour-plus detour just to be headed back to where you got on (but not quite) and then finally headed home. Then add to this having Saturday be your only day to be not working and cheer class starting at 9 am (realize that you've left the house before 7:30).

But... things are relaxing. I'm back to 2-day weekends (yay!) and a new job is on the horizon. It's one where I won't be called at 2 a.m. or be responsible for the work of everyone in the department. Yes, I'll still be working for the same department but in a much less stressful position. Yes, it will have its stressful times, but I won't be called at 2 a.m. Notice the theme here... no 2 a.m. calls. Anyway, more on that when the time is right.

Getting ready for vaycay (vacation for those who are too old to "get it" hehe... love ya dad). No, we're not going anywhere. We never do. My vacations are just not going to work for however long and getting paid for it.

In other news, I'm working on building my credit back up again in case I ever feel the need to buy a house or heck, find a way to pay for the dentist. Yeah, the dentist. A had some dental work done and man they're expensive. They wanted $650 out of pocket for the drug guy... ok you all know who I'm talking about but typing anaesthesia is a pain (yes I copy/pasted from dictionary.com). Anyway... buddy was a Very Brave Boy. Did Very Well at least until they turned the gas off. Then he FREAKED.

that no good dirty hubby of mine... hey... he told me to type that! Ok, off to help make dinner.

Images of the day

I love these.

On helping friends...

M and I were reading one of her books the other day. One of the characters was helping her friends. M looks at me and says "It's nice to help friends. *sigh* If only you helped me build a tree house for our family. *sigh* If only we had a tree." hehe.

Earlier in the book was a picture of a bakery. The sign said "baker" clear enough, but with a cursive "y" at the end. M says, "It says bakerp."
Me: No honey, bakery. That's a y at the end.
M: Oh! I didn't know the y was in spellish!

hehe... spellish. That is AWESOME. I'm afraid of telling her that the correct word is cursive because dangit, spellish is just great.

Something else I wrote...

Comfort from things other than food
You've had a hard day, you're stressed, tired and pushed beyond your daily limit of crud. You want nothing more than to go home and feel loved and cared for. The first thing you do is grab your comfort food and dig in. Eating this food makes you feel like you're back in your parents' home (or wherever) and you get a feeling that all is right in the world.

But what can you do instead? What else comes to mind when you think of days gone by and relaxing and being comforted?

For me I have two things, the first is my sun beam. Growing up I would have a sun beam that would hit my bed in the afternoon. Often I would crawl up onto my bed, with its white heirloom bedspread wearing a dark outfit. I would curl up in my sunbeam and take a nap. About the time the sunbeam would leave is about the time I would wake up refreshed and ready for the rest of the day. To this day, I love curling up on the couch with my feet in the sunbeam that drifts across my living room. That takes me back and makes me feel good again.

The second thing that I go back and think about often is this lovely chair I would sit in to read while away at school. It reclined just enough to be comfortable, but not too much that your arms would get tired holding up a book. I spent many nights in that chair reading until the morning hours before going to the airport to return home. Someday I plan on finding another chair that I can easily curl up in and immerse myself into a good book.

What takes you back? What can you do instead of reaching for your comfort foods?

And I have to say, my most often chosen comfort food, mac & cheese, hasn't been a part of my life for the past month & a half. I'm proud of myself for not reaching for this even once yet. In a way I don't even miss it.

Catching up

I haven't been real good about keeping up over here lately, so I thought I'd repost some stuff that I've blogged about over on the sparkpeople site. (There's a link to the right if you want to go and see). Life just keeps going. Nothing new from the kiddos that has been fun and exciting to report. M is excited already for 2nd grade and I can't believe that A will be headed toward Kindergarten this year. Not sure yet if he'll be in full or half-day, but that's mostly because we didn't have a preference. The school is quickly coming to know that we're pretty open to scheduling, but they sure as heck better not misplace my children! (hehe)

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Relaxing and other brain wanderings
I have to say that this weekend has been wonderful so far. The days seem long enough to just lounge around and relax. I got a nap in today (not in my sunbeam, but oh well) and both yesterday and today we got out of the house and went to the park and the HS to do some exercise. I wish it wasn't getting so hot now. One reason I'd love to get back to the NW is for the summers. Yeah, we could do outside activities in the winter here, but why would you want to do outside activities in the evenings when it's dark out?

Been on a weird somethingorother today. Been doing the carb thing. I just had some baja chipotle steak for dinner and was really weird about going into my calorie range. Have about 300 cals left before topping out, but I feel weird about eating any more. Maybe it's because I made peanut-chocolate chip-oatmeal cookies yesterday and had two. Maybe it was the popcorn with cheese sprinkles I had after lunch. Maybe I just feel like a big ol pig and shouldn't eat any more. Maybe it's because I haven't had any fruits or veggies today because I need to go to the store but can't until Monday. Blech. Or maybe it's because I'm }{ this close to my next goal that I don't want to ruin it and feel guilty for carbing out. Yeah, that's probably it.

I'm closely getting to the point in my last attempt to lose weight where I quit and started gaining again. Is it a psychological thing? Am I afraid to be under 200 pounds? I wouldn't think so, but who knows. Maybe I'm afraid of failing that I just stop trying. Again, who knows... just things that happen to pop into my brain now and again.

I think once I hit 205 my next goal will be 199. But we'll see if I can do this.

Ok, enough of this... maybe it's time to take a nice warm bath and read a good book.

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First day of summer
I think we're going to have a family day today. We've been making plans to blow bubbles, go birdwatching, do some sidewalk chalking, making a special breakfast, playing games, having steak and shrimp for dinner, having a drawing party. It should be a fun day. Though we have asked the kiddos to clean up the sty that they have made of their rooms.

In other news... the mosquitos are back. Ants have already attacked my ankles (silly to put an ant hill at the bus stop!) and now I have to contend with the mosquitos at work. My left shoulder has 5 that I can count. Ugh. I think I need more garlic. Oh! just found 2 more... ugh this is going to be miserable.

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3 more to go!
The scale graced me with another drop this morning so I only have around 3 pounds to go until my goal. I'd like to hit 205 by the end of the month, so it'll be close I imagine.

Starting to see a difference in my clothes, in my face, in my bras. Starting to think about what I'd like to do for myself when I hit 199. Can't really think of anything specific right now that would be within budget restraints.

Down 15 pounds

Just wanted to give an update on the weightloss journey. 15 pounds gone. And I'm committed to keeping it off this time. I have a link over to the right that leads to my weightloss page. Just pointing out that it's there if you want to give it a look now and again.

As for the rest of my life...

tomorrow is field trip/class party day. I'm chaperoning M's class trip to the museum and luckily timing will work out that afterwards we can make it to A's class party. I'm looking forward to spending the day with the kiddos.

And speaking of the kiddos, we've gotten a few good conversations lately.

A: Mom, can I have some ice cream?
Me: No, I told you you could have some after dinner.
A: Can I have dinner?

M is saving her chore money to buy a guitar and wants to take guitar lessons.
M: I know mom, I can do cheerleading *and* guitar (lessons).
Me: No honey, one or the other.
M: Ok, cheerleading this summer and guitar next summer.

One of my goals

List the seven best qualities of the people you admire. Work on one quality at a time.

There is one person in particular that I admire. This is someone I've never personally met, though I have known her for years. T is, for lack of a better word, just awesome. Her faith, acceptance, strength, intelligence and general attitude are what I admire most. While I know that I'm not seeing the whole picture, the days that everyone has when they're at their worst, she always projects this radiance of love, fun. T is such a great person.

This goal is one that has been on the edges of my mind for the past couple of weeks. I hadn't really thought about it. But this morning when I read something that T wrote I KNEW that she was one I wanted to emulate. I only listed 5 qualities above, but I'm sure that those will be a good start.

Steps and family

I read something today about the old saying "One step forward, two steps back," and how it has a negative impact. The article also mentioned that if you turn that statement around the impact is more positive, one step back, two steps forward.

That's a good way to think about falling off the nutrition wagon. I know that weekends are going to be my hard points. So in my case, 5 steps forward, 2 steps back. But it's still progress. I've eaten well for almost a week and that's been enough to get some better habits started. I've found that I really enjoy a certain breakfast. 2/3 cup cereal, 4 oz milk, .5 oz raisins, a piece of whole wheat toast and 1tbl raspberry jam. My second day having this breakfast I realized something. Every time I saw my grandparents growing up, THIS was the exact breakfast (minus coffee *shudder*) they would eat. I was floored.

What does that have to do with the step thing? Nothing really, but I did find that I felt a little more connected to my grandparents, and THAT is a step in the direction of finding out who I am and trying to figure out who I want to be. I realized that I want my grandkids to remember what I ate for breakfast and look back on it as a fond memory.

Posting a clarification

in my last post I mentioned taking care of everything at home. While it seems like that's the case it really isn't. Not really. C has been sick sick sick. First he had a run-in with pneumonia and from the coughing and hacking from that he gained an umbilical hernia.

So yeah... it's been rough, but he's not as much as a slacker as I made him out to be.

Weight of the world

Not sure what's happened over the past couple of days, but it sure seems like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Today was even to teh point where I had a bit of paranoia and felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Suddenly life was very hard and everyone was against me. While I knew this wasn't the case, it was still a hard thing to shrug off. I just feel that each area of my life is turning to me for support and I just can't do it anymore. I can't be the person who takes care of everything at work, I can't take care of everything at home, heck, I can barely take care of myself these days it seems.

Not to mention that it's all exacerbated by this headache I've had for the past couple of days that NOTHING is helping to get rid of.

In other news, M has informed me that she's going to be a mommy AND a teacher when she grows up. Oh, and she's going to have 5 kids too. No clue where that number came from.

And A says that he's going to be brave and get a haircut. Don't know when that'll happen, but it's so cute when he's brave. He's a good kiddo.

Need a new vaccuum?

5 minutes for Mom is giving away a Dyson Slim Vaccuum. Heck, why not try for a shot. Be quick about it. The contest ends on April 4. U.S. only, sorry Nik. And thanks sweethomealagirl for letting me know about it :)

So what have YOU been up to?

Me?

Well, not a whole bunch really. It seems like the day-to-day stuff takes up the majority of my time. You know, work, kids, cooking, cleaning, manual labor, farm work, bringing in the crops, curing the incurable, oh, wait.

So ok, the first two are the majority. Then cooking & cleaning & not so much of that other stuff. Though some days it does seem like the world is on my shoulders and I'm alone in my journey to keep everyone happy.

Then someone comes along, not quite out of the blue, and does something to make things just a little easier. It's nice to know those people are still out there. They are much appreciated.

Some things we've been up to lately:

We've been working on a new book/story/set of stories. C & I have come across a little world that may just have a few stories to share with the world we currently live in. We're not quite sure what this world is called or where it is, but it's interesting and has a few people in it that are bound to be enjoyable.

We've done battle with the dreaded crud and unfortunately that war is still continuing, but we're making headway with the help of Omnicef and some eyedrops.

It seems as if that's all. Not too exciting eh?

New work hours makes for a very tired me

I started working new hours at work last week. I'm almost part of the "working normal" these days. Only thing is that I still work nights on Sundays. Oy! This is going to be a test of my endurance because I sure as heck already want to take a nap and it's not quite 9 yet.

Someone bring me a blankie. Wouldn't be so bad if punkingirl didn't wake me up at O'dark-thirty this morning. Heck I can barely type straight. Blech.

Let's go fly a kite

Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up to the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh let's go
Fly a kite

Yup, we went kite flying today. Didn't think there was going to be much wind and it would end up being a bust, but we were wrong. A good time was had by all. The kiddos played a game where they were trying to catch the tails when C & I brought the kites down into reaching distance. Spent a good hour playing and teaching them how to work the kites. We saw a couple other people out flying kites, a couple people playing with RC cars, watched the ducks on the pond and finally came home when the sneezles of hayfever started appearing.

Fun was had by all. Not to mention a nice warm lunch of chicken noodle soup when we got home.

An Egyptologist in our midst

M has been learning about Egypt in school. Something tells me she's enjoying learning about it. Hmmm, let's see, could it be all the pictures she draws? Could it be that she wanted me to look up some heiroglyphics for her to write on her pictures? Could it be the book on Egypt that she bought from the library? Or maybe it's that she looks over the pictures in the Ancient Egypt chapter of my art history book on an almost-daily basis.

I think it's awesome that she's showing so much interest in learning about Egypt. Maybe someday she'll be the next biggest personality in the Egyptologist circles. :)

boy I've been a slacker

Haven't updated in awhile. Mostly because nothing really blog-worthy has happened. Just one day after the next, on and on. Well either that or I'm losing my mind.

One thing that did happen was that M did exceedingly well in school this past quarter. She made the perfect attendence list as well as the principle's citizenship list. Needless to say, we're all really proud of her.

Ok, back to the regularly-scheduled life as we know it.

School flyers

Come swim with us!

It's flyer time at the elementary school. I see a lifetime ahead full of activities that the kids want to participate in. M wants to be a cheerleader. She begged and begged and begged some more to join cheerleading. The class had already started so I went looking for programs to get her in.

Well cheerleading practice once a week runs $100+/mo at the gyms. Oof. How is *that* going to fit in the nearly non-existant budget??? Well I thought I'd check out the city programs to see if they offered cheer. Yay! They do! And at a drastically reduced cost. There are a couple other options as well.

The school has a program with the neighboring high school where the kids can go at the end of basketball season and do a cheer with the high school squad. This year we'll plan on doing that. Then in April we'll see about getting into the next session of cheer through the city. I figure this way she can get a taste of it without having to spend a ton of money to find out she doesn't like it.

Though I have this feeling we'll have a cheerleader in our midst soon. Sigh, my baby's growing up.

Homesick

It rained today. I had visions of being at home with an old James Garner movie on channel 12 and eating a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Of bundling up on the couch and renting movies after a walk (or run) from the corner movie store. Of relaxing and not having to worry about what I have to do or where I have to be tomorrow.

Maybe it's just this time of year, or maybe it's that I am unhappy with my current work situation, but boy, I sure got hit with the homesick bat this weekend.

Yes, I know that "home" means cold winters, driving on ice & snow, and that you can "never go home" because things just won't be the same. But really, I don't care about all of that.

Yes, I do have visions of a perfect life that I'm bound to never achieve, but you know, being there would be one step closer to those visions.

I want to be able to enjoy the summer evenings. I want to smell the lilacs. I want to watch it snow and then go play in it with the kids. I want to be closer to my family and have them over for cards or dinner or whatever. I want to run through the leaves in the fall and enjoy 4 distinct seasons.

Ok, I'm a whiner. Blech... maybe I should dream a little less and focus on the present a bit more.

A day in the crappy life of...

As you could read below, life wasn't exactly easy yesterday...

1:00 am go to bed after a long day at work
6:00 am wake up with the kids
8:00 am M off to school
10:00 am running errands - smell gas while in the car
1:00 pm decide it's too late for a nap, so stay up and plan to get an energy drink
2:00 pm get ready to pick up M, decided to check car
2:10 pm WALK to M's school, because car is leaking gas
2:15 pm talk to work with results below
2:40 pm talk to towing company and service center
4:30 pm car's loaded on tow truck & on way to service center
4:45 pm get to service center & everything set up.
4:46 pm learn the shuttle service is not running because someone didn't show up to work
4:47 pm call work to see if anyone could help me. All either gone or unwilling.
4:50 pm call taxi
5:30 pm taxi drives by
5:40 pm taxi drives by again
5:50 pm service manager says to cancel taxi, he'll get me to where I need to go
6:00 pm arrive at work thanks to wonderful manager
8:00 pm leave work to catch bus home, not relying on anyone for a ride.
8:05 pm arrive at bus stop only to find that it's been MOVED 1/2 mile away due to construction
8:40 pm finally catch bus home
9:00, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00 call work to make sure things are going ok
1:30 am get call from printer asking for two more pages
1:31 am call work to see how things are going
1:33 am call printer back to let them know
2:00 am finally get back to sleep, all the while hearing the kids cough, whine, etc in their sleep making me jolt awake to make sure nobody is sick

Yeah, not fun.

Hate is such a strong word

That's what people always say. And it is. But in some cases it is warrented. That fine line between love and hate... nowhere to be seen.

From the very moment I met this person, my life has been in turmoil. My whole attitude in life has shifted from fun and carefree to one of continual stress and bitterness. In all the years I've known this person not once have I been shown the slightest bit of compassion, or heck, even respect. All I get is rude and belitting behavior.

I'm sure by now you've guess that this isn't a situation I'd be in unless it is unavoidable and so far it has been. I'm just so tired of the way this person treats me. Every time there is a bit of conversation I'm left speechless. How can one person be so rude.

But yeah, I think I truly hate this person. I don't like saying it, but it's true. I'm sure the feelings are mutual though.

Sometimes my kids amaze me

Yesterday we were at our favorite farmer's market buying our weekly supply of meat. Well the kids always run over to the "snack" sample tray to grab a taste of the offerings. As usual they had Snapea Crisps, a sun-dried pea snack. I don't particularly care for them, but the kids love them. So, we bought a bag of the Ceasar flavored (I can't tell they're flavored) for them to have at home. Well this morning I treated myself to a few toffee peanuts, gave one to A to try. He asked for some more. We went to the cupboard and I noticed the snapeas, and asked which he would rather have...

He chose the snapeas!! Amazing

What I've been up to...

Well, after a 3-week stint of not going to work (ie. vacation) and being SICK the entire time, I'm back at work again and am already irritated :)

Otherwise, I've been lucky enough to help a company beta test their product. No, I will not say which company or which product, but I will say that I think it's a pretty good thing.

And here's another excerpt from a day with my son:

"zombines... the belong underground and don't belong in here or in our bedroom either. They just live underground."

Gotta love that kid... zombines... lol